11. “I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.”
He must think the presidential election is a beauty pageant
12. “I know more about ISIS than the generals do. Believe me.”
Oh, I feel so much safer knowing that!
13. “Eventually we’re going to get something done and it’s going to be really, really good.”
Okay here is the context, he was just talking about the healthcare bill at this time. But Fox News made this a lot more time funnier on with the chyron
14. “I thought being President would be easier than my old life.”
Being a billionaire playboy must be a lot harder than being the leader of the free world
15. “The other candidates — they went in, they didn’t know the air conditioning didn’t work. They sweated like dogs…How are they gonna beat ISIS? I don’t think it’s gonna happen.”
Right, I don’t see how these two are comparable
16. “Ariana Huffington is unattractive, both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man – he made a good decision.”
What’s up with Trump and objectification of women?
17. “We are going to have an unbelievable, perhaps record-setting turnout for the inauguration, and there will be plenty of movie and entertainment stars. All the dress shops are sold out in Washington. It’s hard to find a great dress for this inauguration.”
Well, you’ve gotta admire his optimism
18. “The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”
Yeah there’s nothing more attractive than a man with money
19. “It’s freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming!”
That’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works!
20. “Look at those hands, are they small hands? And, [Republican rival Marco Rubio] referred to my hands: ‘If they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”
Can we seriously start a petition to have him stop talking about other men’s members?